Mutual Feelings - first chapter
1267 days ago
Gerard smiled to himself, thinking of the concert they had that night. He honestly thought that it was the best Black Parade concert they had ever played – and that was just as well, considering that it was the finale of their tour. They had only one more day in that damned van! Not that the band members didn´t enjoy spending time with each other, they just started getting on each other´s nerves after constantly being together in the confined space of the van for a year.
When they got back to the van that night (or rather the next morning) Mikey, Ray and Bob decided to go to a bar to celebrate the tour coming to an end. Gerard said he wanted to stay home – most likely to avoid the temptations of the alcohol he would unavoidably face while at a bar. Frank then opted to stay with Gerard and keep him company. Shrugging, the remaining three left the van in search of a good bar to party at.
Frank was still too pumped from the show to even think about going to sleep so as soon as the door shut behind them, he turned to Gerard and asked: "What do you feel like doing, Gerard?"
"Oh, I don´t know… Maybe watch a movie or something?" Gerard replied. He then added: "I don´t think we have anything we haven´t seen yet though and I´m not feeling like watching something I´ve already seen."
Frank thought for a moment before suggesting: "We could always just sit and chat. We haven´t had any time to just peacefully sit and talk about anything lately."
"Why the hell not?" Gerard said before making his way to the couch in the living area of the van, sitting down and patting the seat next to him.
Frank smiled and made his way over to the couch before taking his seat next to Gerard.
They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Gerard looked at Frank and said: "Thanks for staying here to keep me company instead of joining the others at the bar; I know how much you love going to bars." He laughed.
"Do not!" Frank exclaimed. "I just like hanging out with you guys." He lowered his eyes and added: "It wouldn´t have been as much fun without you anyway so sacrificing that for some alone-time with you is completely worth it."
Gerard looked surprised and asked: "You´re saying that hanging out in the van with me would be more fun than partying with Mikey, Ray AND Bob?"
Frank nodded sheepishly and Gerard asked, even more surprised if possible: "But why? I´m nothing special… And we´re not even really doing anything."
Frank´s sheepish expression turned into one of annoyance and he burst out: "What is wrong with you? Always doubting your worth and questioning why anyone would want to be your friend. Get over yourself already, isn´t it obvious that we care about you? I fucking love you, why can´t you just see that?"
He stopped abruptly, seeming to realize what he just said, and froze. When he got control back over his body, he jumped up and stormed out of the room, back to his bunk.
Gerard stared after him in shock, hearing sobs coming from the general direction of Frank´s bunk. He just sat there, his mind racing, trying to process what Frank just said. Frank likes him? Him? Of all people? What did he ever do to deserve Frank´s love? Frank deserved so much better than him…
He stopped that thought right there, realizing that Frank had just scolded him for thinking too little of himself, he laughed aloud as he realized that the accusation was probably not false. He then delved deeper into his whirling emotions, trying to decide exactly how much he liked Frank.
After thinking about it carefully, Gerard finally deduced – to his great surprise – that his feelings for Frank were the same as the feelings Frank briefly declared about Gerard before fleeing to his bunk. Once he realized this, Gerard got up, deciding to go to talk to Frank, and made his way to the sound of the quiet sobbing – which indeed came from Frank´s bunk.
He found Frank curled up on his bunk, crying into his pillow to try and lessen the sound of his sobs. Gerard hesitantly sat down next to Frank and wrapped his arms around him.
After Frank realized what he had said and fled the living room, he ran to his bunk as quickly as he could, trying to hold back his sobs. When he got to his bunk however, he gave up and let the sobs burst free. He cried uncontrollably into his pillow. He couldn´t believe that he had told Gerard he loved him. Gerard would hate him now, he wasn´t even gay! Why did he have to snap and just blurt out everything he had been keeping to himself since before the band started? But Gerard´s disbelief at the fact that Frank could prefer his company to that of the other band members just made him so angry. Gerard had always thought so little of himself, not being able to see how amazing he really was.
He didn´t know how long he had been lying there but the sobs hadn´t abated at all. Frank was so absorbed in his own emotions that he didn´t even hear Gerard´s footsteps approaching him and didn´t notice Gerard´s presence until he felt a pair of warm arms wrap around him.
He shot up in his bunk, so surprised that he stopped sobbing.
"Gerard?" He asked, the surprise on his face mirrored in his voice.
"Frankie…" Gerard whispered. "I´m so sorry for hurting you. Do you really love me?"
Frank sighed, "Yes, Gerard. I´ve loved you since before we started the band…"
He looked surprised again and Frank couldn´t even remember how many times he´d seen that expression on his face since the others left for the bar.
"Really Frankie? How could I never have noticed? Why didn´t you say anything?"
Frank stared at him blankly. "Say anything? What should I have said? ´Oh by the way Gerard, I´ve been in love with you for years. Do you by any chance return the feeling? If you don´t it´s ok though, we can just go back to normal, pretending nothing happened.´ As if. I didn´t want to ruin our friendship."
Gerard winced before saying: "Fair enough. But I´ve been thinking about it since you let it slip just now and I realized that I love you too, Frankie. I´m so sorry for never realizing how you felt." He laughed and added: "And I´ll try to believe in myself more."
Frank was speechless. Gerard loved him too? Was he dreaming? He pinched himself and winced at the pain but didn´t wake up. Gerard took his hand away and stared at the place where he had pinched himself.
"What was that for?" He asked.
Frank looked sheepish. "I wanted to make sure I wasn´t dreaming."
Gerard laughed: "Silly, why would you be dreaming?"
"Because I never thought you´d return my feelings. Anyway, aren´t you straight?" Frank asked, holding his breath.
Gerard laughed again and Frank noted how beautiful his laugh was. "No, I realized that I was bi a few years ago. And I might have turned gay just for you anyway." He winked.
Frank blushed and looked away, still not quite able to process everything that had happened since they´d gotten back to the van. He decided to just hug Gerard, needing the comfort of his warm arms around him. "I love you so much." He whispered.
Gerard leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead and whispered back, "I love you too, Frankie."
FireArrow @Spark187 Maybe, if I get an idea to continue this. I´m sure I´ll post
more Frerard at some point. I´ve got a short story about Gaara (from
Naruto) and one about Gethin Anthony and Finn Jones though
1267 Days ago
Spark187 That was such a sweet little love story. Will you be writing more?
1267 Days ago