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Fatal Feelings - first chapter
WriterofWeirdness | Published 26 days ago


I´m Arepseva. I was born with a strange case. Here is my story.

Let’s start from birth. My mother had told me my birth was horrifying. I had come out of my mother crying, as all babies do,  and suddenly stopped breathing. Doctors, nurses and paramedics had rushed over to heal me from… whatever had happened. After 3 days I was back and breathing, with a totally normal face as if nothing happened. A doctor and a scientist had come to my parents and told them I had an unknown disease nobody had. The scientists had decided to call it “sensum sunt exitiale”. It was in Latin, and the English form was “feeling is fatal”.

Yep, it´s in the name. I would either grow with a very fatal sickness or die if I felt a single feeling. Apparently, the action of  ‘mood’ would send a signal of danger to the brain and my heart would stop working. it was a medical miracle I survived my first mood attack. Unfortunately, the doctors expected another mood attack to come someday.

I don’t fully understand how I survived, though, so don’t ask me. Since I was only an infant and I could have to deal with a ton of crying and tantrums, I had been given a medicine that apparently cancels my mood out. The one condition was, as the doctor told my parents, the medicine could wear off if I was dealing with really big mood-ments (my way of saying mood moments)  so that was a problem. So I had to take these medicines constantly.

When I came home from the hospital, which was in 5 days after birth, I was treated like an extremely fragile glass table. Because my medicine was pills, it was crunched down and put into my milk bottle. Gross, I know, but it helped. And I lived a perfectly fine life, as a homeschooled child. But in the middle of 6th grade, I was told I would be sent to public school. inside, I wanted to scream. I was so not okay with going through somewhere I could be bullied. But on the outside, I nodded slowly. I couldn’t show my emotions, as I was on a medicine of course. I was lucky the medicine didn’t wear out even with moods like this one.

I had to face it. I was going to public school.


The school was pretty average-sized, which is I guess what you’d expect from a normal public school. It was built by bricks, and there was words over the main doors, reading Red Pond Middle School. I stepped into the building. I walked past random kids staring at me confusedly. Probably because I arrived in the middle of February. Before heading to the office for an introduction, I needed to take my pills. I had to eat them every 3 hours.

I headed to a private space somewhere in between the lockers. I crushed my pills and ate them (I was always used to crushing them). As I was heading to the office, I heard some conversation.

“Did you know there is a new girl coming?”

“No. Why?”

“I heard she used to be homeschooled.”

“Ugh, she’s probably a loner, then.”

“I think she might be ugly, too.”

I walked by these people chatting, and realized they were two girls. One was short and the other was taller by maybe 2 inches. Each had blonde hair and blue eyes, and a whole lot of makeup, and it seemed like they added way too much lipstick.

“OMG, is that her?”

“Ew, she has green eyes…”

“And her hair is red! Those colors are so unique it´s weird.”

A very tiny part of me wanted to yell at them, but the pills had shooed away the urge.

I arrived at the office, and it seemed pretty normal. A younger-looking woman with raven-black hair and dark brown eyes came up to me and asked, “ Hello, I´m the vice principal Ms. Aricka. You are….” She flips pages in the binder on her desk. “Arepseva Leas?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “I heard you have a special….. Mood allergy? Seems so weird, I can’t help but think it’s fake,” Ms. Aricka mumbled to herself. I forced myself to let the medicine dull my mood. I had received the prescription by the doctor themself! How does that seem fake?

“Okay, then. So can I keep the pills at the office?” Aricka asked me after a long minute of staring at my doctor’s note.

“No. I need them with me in case of an emergency,” I explained.

“Ummm, okay. Would you like to meet the principal?”

Seriously? You usually always meet the principal when school starts. This question was not necessary.

“Okay,” I replied.

She leads me into a door where the principal sits. He has black hair that was obviously dyed over his graying hair, black glasses, and hazelnut eyes. Apparently, he is doing some important work on his laptop, but he has another tab open reading “10 Weird things that are All Around You”.

The man turns around and says, “Oh, hey! You’re the new student with the condition?”

“Yeah. Arepseva Leas,” I introduce myself.

“Well, then welcome, Ms. Leas!” the principal says, in a strange cheerful voice. “I´m Mr. Dicin, but most kids say my name as Mr. Dice.”


“Let me walk you to your locker and class,” Mr. Dicin tells me, getting up from his seat.

“Uh, no thanks. Just give me the numbers.” I wasn’t an elementary kid, I could find the class by myself.

“No problem. Here’s your stuff.” He hands me a schedule and my locker code.

“Thanks.” I head out the door.

I walked up the stairwell, and there were paintings of trees and people and random art stuff decorated all over the walls. I look at my phone, that I had gotten as a welcome-to-middle-school present from my parents, and realize that I had came 20 minutes early to school. So I decide not to go to classes and take the time to tour myself around.

Upstairs, there is half-sized lockers everywhere. I find my locker number 329, and I open it.    

I put my stuff inside, keeping my phone, personal agenda, gym strip to put in the locker room ,pills and my Science binder because that was my first class. I went back downstairs and looked around.

There was a fork in the hallway with 3 pathways. One leading to the gym, and the other two leading to classes and lockers.

I decided to go into the gym to put my gym strip in the locker room. I purchased the school set from the office, when I first visited in January. There was a group of 6 kids playing a round of volleyball. They see me walk in and give me strange stares.

“She’s the new one?” A girl whispered a little too loud.

“Yeah. I heard she can’t feel emotions,” A boy told her.

“Wow, that’s strange.”

“So are her hair and eyes,” Another girl pointed out.

Yeah, I´m the new kid with weird conditions and facial looks and yadayadayada, can you please go back to your game?

I ignored the group and went inside what said the “girls’ locker room”.

I chose a random lock that had tape behind it saying the passcode. I put my gym strip inside and closed it, taking the tape off of the lock.

I step out and the kids playing volleyball are back at their game, no longer acknowledging the “strange girl” in their existence.

I reach one of the downstairs halls, with a banner saying “Sevenths’ Hall”, which I assumed were where the seventh graders classes were. I walked through this hall because the library was on the end of it, and I wanted to explore it.

As I was halfway down the hall, I am slammed into the wall by a girl with black hair, dark brown eyes and a very angry face.

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